Losing the Trail

Introductory Preface to the Supplemental Manual

Everything in this consciousness study section is based upon discovery and events that transpired before and during the writing of a book entitled Observations From Within A Heart, and that is generally referred to as the Supplemental Manual. The Introductory Preface below is taken verbatim from this book, and is presented here because it succinctly explains the reason behind the awareness writings on this web site, as well as why the Supplemental Manual came into existence. For clarity, occasional comments [enclosed in brackets] have been added.

Introductory Preface

This book [the Supplemental Manual] is the result of many years’ worth of dedicated inner work, representing the lessons that were learned along the way. Having participated in its creation from the beginning, I was invited by Terry to preface it with a few words of my own, and I am grateful for this opportunity, as the manner in which this manual came into being may provide a perspective useful to the reader.

As our little group of awareness friends moved forward and we found that profound changes were taking place, changes that quickly penetrated to the very core of our beingness, we noticed that the path was becoming lost behind us, for whatever we handled within us was no longer in our awareness nor experience. We simply didn’t perceive or experience it anymore—it vanished! Because of this we could no longer assist others in those areas. Thus, our recognition of the possible value of this work came hand in hand with the realization that it changes us so deeply and completely that the work itself changes as we go. Yet we felt strongly that the understandings that surfaced could also help others who might be longing for a way to free themselves from similar judgmental ignorance, any consequent denial and the resulting lethargy of impending death. What a dilemma, to find this work to be so valuable and yet know that by doing it you lose your capability of passing it on. And thus the writing, rewriting and more re-rewriting began as a way to clarify our own process, as well as to leave a trail for others to follow.

It took some more time before we fully realized the book had become our lesson plan and teacher. Each time we would go through the text to make revisions and add deeper understandings, we were teaching ourselves in increasingly profound ways. Eventually we realized it was time to leave the book alone, even though exciting new realizations kept popping up constantly. If we kept updating it, the “beginning” of the trail, consisting of our early experiences and level of understanding, would be lost, replaced by much later and newer convictions, far away from our modest and uncertain beginning. The book would possibly become somewhat useless to the beginner, as our current comprehension would leave the neophyte far behind without any basic notions to grasp as a starting point. Therefore, what you now hold in your hands is not a “finished,” “complete” or “ultimately true” anything. It is not a gospel, just a temporary guide to be discarded as you grow and expand your awareness.

The logical progression of this work unfolds automatically as one’s awareness grows, and you need not deny or push away anything. Everything eventually falls into intimate understanding, as your ability to realize through perception and feeling grows, and sooner or later all becomes simple to see and resolve. For me, perhaps in particular, the methodical, comprehensible approach allowed me to begin trusting in my mentality, and then later in my Will and Body, as well as outer reality in general, all of which trust I had lost at the beginning of my individualized existence. That was a time when I was first faced with the results of my creativity and power, feeling alone, confused and terrified of every ripple within me, outer reality exploding into some kind of action with every inner quiver. Everything seemed to be going very wrong, the opposite of what I thought I wanted, and I did not understand why nor what I could do to untangle the apparent mystery of it all. I could not stop what I perceived was happening to me, neither inside nor outside in manifest outer reality, because I did not know how the various parts of me worked and interrelated, or that they could set living forces of such overwhelming magnitude into instantaneous motion.

I have learned that to condemn and turn away from my creation in disgust is to choose ignorance and death, for my creation, including my body, can show me myself as in a clear mirror, providing me with the necessary insights and understandings that allow me to truly change what I have previously created—provided I understand the process of creation. And that, precisely, is what is contained in this [Supplemental Manual] book: A way of perceiving and dealing with one’s creation in order to see and understand the underlying mechanics, allowing the resolution of anything no longer truly desired, and in a logical and methodical manner. If you are ready to take responsibility for your own creation and begin to re-create life the way you really want it, I trust that this manual will guide you on your way as it has guided us.

Annette Harrison
August 1995

Naming the Manual

It may be important for the reader to realize that the so-called Manual was not originally thought of as supplemental, but rather as a not yet complete book (or teaching manual) that revealed the "secrets" that had been discovered and learned. Over time, however, it became very apparent that the Manual by and of itself did not necessarily aid the student in the way intended, unless it was used in conjunction with someone already familiar with the processes and the oftentimes special meanings applied to various words. Under these specific conditions, an adept facilitator could effectively guide the new student through the pitfalls and nutty paradoxes until they were able to stand on their own two feet. Therefore, the Manual is generally referred to as the Supplemental Manual, to suggest that it is best used in conjunction with an advanced teacher.

The Manual's official name is Observations From Within A Heart, with the sub-title of A Process for Reclaiming Lost Love, which is an exact statement of what the book is and what it contains. It is literally the inner and outer reality observations as perceived and utilized by someone who has Heart balance (which is a person who has a sufficiently integrated balance between and of Spirit (mentality) and Will energies), and who is also in the process of reclaiming, recovering and reintegrating all of the lost parts of themselves. But even though the titles and words used throughout the book are meticulously chosen, correctly and usefully interpreting them, as well as feeling the celestial melody embedded within the thousands of sentences, requires that the reader have a useful degree of Spirit and Will balance (or Heart balance). Because of this, unfortunately, through no desire to be tricky or to hide the intended message, the truth of the Supplemental Manual can go completely unrealized and unfelt by anyone missing this vital component. In spite of this almost certain problem, the Supplemental Manual is being made available anyway, because a misunderstood trail may be better than no trail at all.

Terry Hathaway
January 1, 2005