Wanting versus Having

Having What is Wanted without Wanting

The Process of Wanting

Some want to want; some don’t want but have, and some neither want nor have, but all have what it is they want. Does this paradoxical sentence make sense to you? What does this perhaps contradictive looking statement mean, and why?

To begin analyzing this statement here is what I mean by the terms “wanting” and “having:”

The statement as a whole can be broken down as follows:

It was a long time ago when I began to truly understand and make some practical use of the contradictory seeming paradoxical dilemma of wanting something versus having it, which essentially states that you cannot have what it is you choose to want, so that you can have what you ask, which, in this case, is to choose to want something, not actually have it. To many people this may just seem to be nothing more than silly semantics and trivial at best, because, someone might argue, how can you have anything if you don’t want it first? Thus, it may seem reasonable to insist that wanting and desiring to have something must always precede any kind of attainment. But while this simple logic may seem to be a reasonable and irrefutable argument, it prevents any possibility of looking deeper into the mechanics of the mentality and how it ultimately causes outer reality experience to be manifest. However, for anyone who enjoys poverty and not having what is wanted, and/or who insists on making life difficult and valuable through pain, sweat, and back-braking toil, these people need not read any further here, nor look any deeper into themselves, since they probably already have life exactly as they want it and judge it must be.

As for myself, I am instinctually lazy and not prone to enduring blood, sweat, and tears if not absolutely necessary. Thus, whenever I get wind of an easier or better way to do or go about manifesting what I desire, rather than stubbornly rely on some kind of hard work and toil routine, I quickly go about letting go of the hard way and look for the easier way where the abundance can flow to me without great effort and/or by overriding anyone else. Does this make sense? It does to me, but I also realize that most people seem to disagree and instead insist that toil and sacrifice is the only sure way to success. And to be sure, I will not interfere with someone else’s choice for a lifestyle, even though their choice is one of hardship.

The Paradox Restated

Here is that paradoxical statement again, but slightly restated to make it more personal: I cannot have what it is I choose to want, so that I can have what I ask, which is to want something and not actually have or possess it. In this restatement it should be clear that if the statement holds true I don’t get what it is I want as long as what I want is to want it. Well, to me this kind of self-created endless merry-go-round is a big waste of time, and it gets me motivated to find a way around such blocks to my eventual success. What I want, then, is to discover how I can have what I want without wanting it, so that I can possess what is wanted without a lot of fuss, work, or toil, and without creating a situation whereby my wanting inspires creation to withhold and deny the actuality of achieving what I desire.

The above paradoxical restatement might seem at first seem to be a quizzical and nonsensical idiom, a play on words, but it is none of these, and it is a perfectly logical and accurate statement of principle. There is a world of difference between asking for process, which in this instance is the ongoing act of wanting, and actually speaking your word to have and possess what is desired. One does not beget the other. Whenever you or anyone wants something (which is asking to want something) it is this choice and goal of wanting that must be given the power by outer reality, instead of granting the actual attainment of what has been stated as wanted. The process of wanting creates an ongoing condition that requires that the person never get what is stated as wanted, so that they can have and/or maintain the chosen life experience of wanting to have something. This kind of wanting and wanting ever more intensely can go on indefinitely, with each increase in the desire to want causing the wanted goal to recede and seem ever more difficult to reach. The process can be made into a torturous one, whereupon the object or goal of desire can never be permitted or manifest in any satisfying way.

Of course, for anyone caught up in some kind of wanting treadmill, the choice to want something can sooner or later lead to a new process whereby the object or goal originally wanted is eventually earned and obtained. Such attainment, however, will only occur if and when the judgmental beliefs, limitations, and toil thought to be necessary in order to achieve what is wanted are essentially satisfied, thereby legitimately overcoming any difficulties perceived as necessary. But such a process of eventual attainment, by whatever means, can only succeed if and when the original choice to want is somehow transformed or there is a substitution by a new choice to actively toil in a way that will produce bona-fide manifest results, and this will have to be done using work ethics and methods as defined by the judgmental content held within the person’s mentality. In other words, the choice to want something must sooner or later either be transformed or turned into a new choice to have and posses through some sort of judged diligent effort.

The moment when a switchover from wanting to having takes place can be subtle enough to go completely unnoticed by the careless person, but, with close observation, this pivotal point can easily be observed and felt. Exactly what initiates the switchover choice, however, must be observed to be understood, because the possibilities here are probably unlimited. Moreover, the process of getting to a switchover point can be immensely complicated and prolonged if and when the person doing the wanting simultaneously chooses to impose and/or blend into the process some sort of a “poor me” attitude and scenario. By adding such a purposely self-defeating ingredient into the mix it is almost a certainty that attainment of any goal will be next to impossible. The “poor me” inclined personality will invariably choose to victimize themselves over and over again, so as to never proceed to any kind of viable switchover phase, perpetually maintaining attitudes and making choices that must create a poverty stricken experience of wanting that excludes all else. Thus it usually seems to be that the combination of choosing to want coupled with a “poor me, I cannot have” attitude renders a person essentially helpless and powerless, unable to move forward, and probably unable to move backwards, too.

In the case of the “poor me” infected personality the way to actually move away from defeating self-deprecation and toward something more joyful is clearly to begin resolving the judgments inciting the “poor me” attitudes and make new choices that have a chance at success. As this process of bit by bit resolution gets under way the person could also get to work toiling for what is wanted as per any remaining judgmental limitations held within the mentality, so as to at least get some sort of head start on what could eventually turn into an easy and bountiful life experience. It ought to be obvious here that by accepting and resolving as many limiting mental judgments as one can deal with the difficulties in attaining a certain goal will thereafter become easier and more possible, and in direct proportion to whatever hindering and limited judgments and attitudes have been truly dealt with, resolved, and released.

However, for the lazy person, like me, there is another way to go about having what is wanted, and do so without going through the process of wanting what is not, or through toiling by doing what is not liked, and that is to merely have it, without the wanting, working, toil, or the need to put other difficulties in the way. Does this seem like an utter impossibility? How you see this possibility depends upon the judgmental state of your mentality, and also whether, or not, you have a useful degree of free Will presence.

Having What is Wanted

There is nothing wrong with having and enjoying an honorable work ethic, especially if that is the absolute best you can presently do, seeing no other feasible way to achieve and possess what is desired. But as impossible as it may now seem, consider the possibility that there might be a more efficient and easier way to attainment, and to possess and enjoy whatever it is you desire. And, no, by this I do not mean to suggest that you should lie, steal, or trample over other people to get what you want. Regrettably, many people equate easier attainment and possession with resorting to injuring other people through dishonesty and crime. If you stoop to this kind of disrespectful activity in pursuit of your goals you will probably have to endure consequences, whether by man made law or nature, that will be unpleasant, and by your attitudes and choices you will have earned any painful reflections you get.

To get what is wanted cleanly and without painful repercussions will probably require that you do a lot of work cleaning up the ragtag collection of disabling and countermanding mental litter that makes up your mind. And you will probably have to do this before you will be able to see and feel the difference between just wanting and actually having manifest what is desired. There is a definite and observable difference in the way the mentality behaves and feels when someone is merely wanting something versus actually knowing that they can have it, and do so without the usual disappointment, pain, and toil that has come to be admired as a worthwhile and valuable process by many people. And, once again, this does not mean that you have the right to be nasty or unscrupulous in your dealing with others or yourself. I do mean to suggest, however, that you can have what it is that is desired without all the usually thought to be necessary fuss and wear and tear. Did you ever hear of someone having the “golden touch,” and that whatever they touched turned to gold and/or became instantly successful?

Before going further let’s look at some of the popular beliefs and notions regarding achievement and attainment, and see if some of these fit into your mix of mental attitudes and beliefs:

Payoff for not having what is wanted:

Sayings and attitudes promoting sweat and toil:

Dealing with having achievement and attainment:

Payoff for having achieved and attained:

The possibilities mentioned immediately above may sound too good to be true, and it seems to be so that achieving such a state of consciousness is not without its difficulties and frustrations. Moreover, the above bulleted lists are far from being comprehensive and/or complete. But that ought not to be a reason to do nothing. With all the awareness work I have done I still find myself choosing to want and talk about having what I want, while deep down at a deeper level I know that I do not really want what I am professing that I want. What a game, pretending to diligently want, but also knowing that I don’t want what it is that I say I want, let alone do what might be necessary to attain it. Nonetheless, the more I clean up my mentality and reintegrate my Will aspect, the more each choice to have something produces a feeling feedback that supports me having what has been chosen, and move me closer to initiating a process of indirect and eventually direct manifestation.

Terry Hathaway
November 22, 2005